Tabula rasa

tab·u·la ra·sa 

1. The mind before it receives the impressions gained from experience.

2. A need or an opportunity to start from the beginning.

(Fresh Start)

To all my close friends, you already know and starting by thanking you for all your support does not do any justice to gratitude i feel! For everyone else, i am sure you are all aware of heartache, loss and love.

This is not a selp pitying, depressing and lethargic description of events past but a realisation of behaviour and therefore a discovery of True Love!

Now I'm sure i have lost the majority of my Male readers already, they have turned of assuming im about to talk pride and prejudice, Hallmark and "Comercial love" and lucrative business and money making machine!

The Love im speaking of surpasses in depth, honesty and genuineness! 

Have you ever felt that feeling of despair, uselessness, or feeling unwanted or unappreciated in a relationship?

There is nothing worse, your confidence withers, heart breaks, self worth shrinks and all round feels crap!

We have all been there. being left out of decisions, feeling unneeded. It begged the question, how does God feel when we do that to him.

All he wants is to be loved by us, be praised and thanked, confided in, trusted, wants to help, wants to support and most of all wants to be part of our lives!

Why do we put him aside and use him like a resource, only tapping into him when we need something.

I have the picture of a house on a quiet road, old shack with wooden portch and wooden door open. Its a house everyone walks past all the time, there is an old man standing in the doorway, old overalls, beard, old shirt, old boots, wrinkled skin, weathered hands. Everytime someone walks towards the house he walks forward and is about to speak with arms open only to have the person avert their eyes to the ground and pretend they didn't see anything and walk on past, the man steps back again with hands at his side waiting for the next one hoping someone will accept the embrace and engage in conversation and accept the love he is offereing. Day after day the same thing happens people walking past, in a rush, pretending to be on their phones, He waits, not dejected, not hurt, not angry, not dissapointed but full of hope, excited almost.

I wake and wish i could run up to that house and embrace the old dude with excitment and talk, reminisce, dream and laugh for the rest of that day. 

God waits on us, patiently, open armed and open palmed. Why would we not want that love, that friendship with the one person/entity that truly knows the real us, under our veils, masks and disguises!

Much Love